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Oh, that tangled Ukrainian-Russian knot

So Russia just invaded Ukraine, which is like a giant grizzly bear attacking My Little Pony.

Why is Russia doing this? What can Ukraine do? What does this portend for the rest of the world?

Few regions of the world have as much tangled, messy history as Eastern Europe, in which Ukraine and Russia kind of rest. From the Balkans to the Baltic Sea to the Urals to today’s Germany, huge and small tides of humanity have swept back and forth, now running in fear, then running in imperial expansionist savagery, for at least a thousand years.

And that is not even counting the Mongols under Ghengis Khan or Attila the Hun, both of whom wreaked incredible carnage across the region before riding back east or dying. But not before leaving their DNA behind among the surviving European women, as evidenced today by the distinctively shaped eyes of both Russian and Ukrainian Slavs.

Russia has obvious historical and strategic interests in dominating Ukraine. As the former “bread basket” grain growing region of Eastern Europe, and the otherwise impoverished USSR specifically, Ukraine also has natural gas, a pathway to Western European markets, and an awful lot of beach front property on the Black Sea.

Russian dictator Vladimir Putin also clearly demonstrates his desire to rebuild the former USSR Soviet Union, by adding Ukraine back in, if not for his own personal aggrandizement, then for the betterment of the Russian people (Putin gets A+ comments from even his most venomous detractors, because he is so clearly dedicated to improving the Russian people’s opportunities, albeit within his totalitarian iron grip and at everyone else’s expense).

For its part, Ukraine threw off the Russian yoke only ten years ago, and immediately saw its own unique flower bloom as an outpost of open-minded youth from across the world. And let’s face it, Ukrainian women are generally speaking smokin’ hot, so that every other Ukrainian woman between 21 and 30 has had a serious go at becoming or trying out life as a “Russian bride.” Demand outstrips supply, so no matter what happens from this invasion, people everywhere will still want those beautiful Ukrainian women. Under Putin’s coming dictatorship, you will probably be able to buy one for a buck fifty on eBay, with 100% of the proceeds going directly to the Kremlin in Moscow.

Ukraine may have earned some of this comeuppance, because they had a sordid past. Even recently. Well, we need to be honest here, so let’s re-state that: Ukraine was a sadistic hell-hole for religious minorities for a thousand years up until they had no more religious minorities to torture.

To understand just how bad and evil the Ukrainian peasant folk were to their gypsies and Jews, do your own internet search (I use DuckDuckGo) of “Ukraine pogroms.” The results of that search will yield un-ending horrific photographs and drawings of bestial massacres, rape, brutality beyond imagination, from the 1500s through the 1940s, all with grinning men and cruel women casually wiping the innocent human blood onto their trousers and skirts.

It seems that under that strikingly beautiful Ukrainian face there may lie an equally evil beast that tempted fate a thousand times too many… and as God is just and righteous, the sins of the fathers are now borne by their children, with Russia serving as the all-too-willing enforcers. This is just one possible view or explanation of this current situation. I am not saying it is correct.

Because Ukraine is the obvious underdog here, many freedom-loving people around the planet are understandably cheering on the Ukrainians. And because the Ukrainian government just handed out real automatic weapons and crates of ammunition to every one of its citizens, we have the weird situation of Second Amendment-hating leftists suddenly cheering the private ownership of assault weapons.

Ukraine has also brought out into the light these same hypocritical leftists to advocate for inviolate international borders, except America’s borders, which must remain wide open. For “justice.”

You just can’t make this crap up, as they say in Brooklyn, New York.

And so here we have it, a hungry bear chasing down a honey pot, with swarms of stinging insects surrounding the roaring bear, which is waving its paws all over the place, defending itself and also wrecking everything around it simultaneously.

If I could draw worth a darn, I would draw this big hairy bear vs. angry bees scene as a giant, tumultuous, tangled knot. Because that is what this Russian invasion is, and always has repeatedly been over the past five hundred years, at least. A tangled mess, neither party completely innocent and neither completely good.

Russia. Russia.

Ukraine. Ukraine. Ukraine. Ukraine.

As for the rest of us, who can say about Europe, or Canada. We Americans have our own Vladimir Putin sitting in the White House to contend with, and his Bolshevik revolutionaries are doing everything they can to destroy America from inside, using the very same government we Americans built to serve us.

So to Ukraine, I say good luck, but we have our own wars to fight here at home.

 

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