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Posts Tagged → burial

July 14th, 2014

Oh, those funerals…

If you live long enough, you get to go to increasing numbers of funerals.

Friends, colleagues, family, acquaintances, leaders you admire, they all begin to fall as time marches on.  Because each of us is already “born terminal,” dying is a natural part of living.

Of course, it is not necessarily the dying part that is upsetting at a funeral.  Unless the particular ending is unexpected, violent, or tragic, what gets me is the sudden absence of the qualities that particular person brought into the world around them.  The absence of their warm personality, their humor, their bravery, their way of thinking or looking at and solving problems, friendliness, and so on.  Whatever vacuum suddenly appears in the wake of a deceased person is the foil to the wonderful qualities the person had developed over a lifetime.

Recently I participated in several funerals, all for older people whose families loved them very much.  At the last one, hardly anyone cried during the eulogies or the burial, not because the person was so horrible, but because they had lived such an utterly full and meaningful life.  She had squeezed every available drop of opportunity, family, love, and community from her time on Earth.  No one felt sad, because she had lived so well and had made so many people feel so good about themselves, and instead, there was much laughter and chuckling.

At each funeral I find myself somewhere in the back, musing, contemplating, listening, and reflecting.  There is not one deceased person I know, or knew, whose abilities, talents, personality traits, character, and strengths I did not wish were my own, in some way.

I am a pretty hard-charging person.  Trying new, entrepreneurial business models, speaking out about my own ideas and beliefs, challenging political orthodoxies I believe are destructive of American liberty and individual freedom, not to mention the outdoor adventures I do each year that put some wear and tear on my increasingly stiff frame and joints…all of this makes me the person I am, now.

Hopefully, with the increasing number of funerals under my belt and the personal qualities I see getting buried each time, I will be a better and improved person as I try to take on some aspect of the person we lost.  Bear with me…

By Josh • Posted in Family • No Comment
May 25th, 2014

Veterans’ memorials are often the most beautiful workmanship

–Josh First

Some societies place plain wooden markers to mark their dead.

Most American Indian groups built death platforms lifting the deceased closer to Heaven.  After a couple of years, they collapsed, their wooden skeletal remains reminiscent of the human skeletal remains once upon them.  Such visual starkness says ‘Hallowed Ground’ more powerfully than most grave sites.

Like the European Celts and Picts, some Indians built small to incredibly large burial mounds, and we have two small ones on our hunting property.  Small or huge, they are still just plain piles of dirt.  Seven large mounds in a neat row line a remote hillside on northcentral State Forest Land I hunt, an evocative but peaceful reminder of who hunted there before me.  Yes, it is clearly a cemetery, but I feel very comfortable there.

Most European countries, and America, place great emphasis on ornate mausoleums, statuary, and finely detailed headstones marking the deceased.  Chiseled of hard granite, these are testimonies to either lots of money or lots of love among those left behind, but a big sign of respect, nonetheless.

In a nod to the less-is-more aesthetic, the United States military places simple marble crosses and Jewish stars on the headstones of fallen warriors.  While these appear plain, plain, plain to the careless eye, more scrutiny reveals careful craftsmanship; beveled edges, hollow grinds, stippling, and more.  Attention to refined details elevate these markers to the level of real workmanship, but avoiding ostentation.

And that is the fitting and well-thought-out purpose to our military cemeteries: Quiet, humble valor that even in death commands respect and appreciation.  Subtle statements that go beyond the initial visual “grab.” In their austerity, reminders of sacrifice and loss, and in their subtle details, the best, most careful workmanship for the best of our citizens.

Memorializing these fallen citizens requires us to do more than salute the Flag, eat a hotdog, or buy a new mattress at a low price, although these days saluting the Flag is a pretty bold statement (surely someone will call you a ‘racist’ for doing it).  Instead, go by a public cemetery and find the veterans markers, sit down at one or two head stones, and do an internet search (on your smart phone etc.) of the occupant in front and center of you.  See if anything can be learned about this person.  Or, if you lack a smart device, have a chat with the inhabitant, and thank them for their service.  Without their service, none of us would have the smart phones and hot dogs we now take for granted.

This is truly memorializing someone.  That is a worthy Memorial Day.

By Josh • Posted in Family, Fruit of Contemplation, Government Of the People..., Immigration • No Comment