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“Full service,” re-defined

If you get gasoline in New Jersey, you can’t speed up the process and put the gas in your car at your own speed.

By statute, only station employees can dispense gas.

Its called “Full Service.”

In ages bygone, that meant full service, as in oil check, tire pressure check, window wash. You’d tip the guy fifty cents. It meant something.

Try asking for those services today. You’ll get a laugh from the young Sudanese guy working the pumps. He moves at his own pace. Fast but not quick.

And so here you are, a hostage in your car, ready to pay, ready to leave, but by law stuck waiting on the guy at the service end of the spectrum.

It’s just a bit assymetrical. It’s not what you’re paying for. It’s not what you need, or want, or used to get.

But, by God, it’s what the government is giving you, and you’ll take it. Or else. Check out the reports of irate drivers serving their own cars gas. They actually get arrested. Big crime!

New Jersey is one of the most liberal states in America. Expect more models of the Garden State’s “full service” to creep into your life in nearly every aspect of your life.

This is freedom, redefined.

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